


Like Nobody's Watching

by Lambcow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Finn POV, Force Bond, Last Jedi spoilers, Reylo - Freeform, TLJ spoilers!!, apparently I'm writing this, everyone loves finn?, finn notices, first couple chapters are finn pov, idk who I'm shipping finn with tbh but he has some good interactions, inspired by a tumblr post, rey keeps talking to herself, with everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13198572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lambcow/pseuds/Lambcow
Summary: Finn starts to notice Rey talking to herself sometimes... and not in the normal "stay calm" type of way, either..."Sure, he talks to himself, too. He even did it when he rescued Poe and left the First Order, but not the way Rey does… when he finds her walking the halls of the Resistance’s new hideaway base about a week after the events on Crait, she seems to be holding a one-sided conversation. It’s almost like she’s on a com with someone, but there’s no com, and there’s nobody else around. But more than that is the way she seems to watch the air around her as if someone is there. "Rey continues to connect with Kylo and she's not as subtle as she thinks she is when he's around and nobody else can see him...  but everyone around the Resistance can still see her...





	1. I Walk Along Darkened Corridors

Finn watches Rey even when he’s a little preoccupied with other things. He’s noticed she talks to herself a lot, and he can’t help but wonder just what her life was like on the desert planet she wanted to go back to so much when he first met her. He’s not sure what it’s like to grow up in a normal life where you don’t have coms in your ears all the time and people listening to your every word your entire life.

Sure, he talks to himself, too. He even did it when he rescued Poe and left the First Order, but not the way Rey does… when he finds her walking the halls of the Resistance’s new hideaway base about a week after the events on Crait, she seems to be holding a one-sided conversation. It’s almost like she’s on a com with someone, but there’s no com, and there’s nobody else around. But more than that is the way she seems to watch the air around her as if someone is there.

Finn doesn’t know much about the Force, but he knows from what Rey told him that Luke is gone, and somehow that doesn’t mean he’s dead, but just “with the Force”. Finn doesn’t really get it. How does the Force work? What is it? It’s like when he told Han they would use the Force to blow up Star Killer Base and he just said that wasn’t how the Force worked. But it’s not as if Finn really needed to understand it anyway. As long as Rey is safe and happy, then it can’t be too bad.

But these conversations are strange. When he approaches, Rey stops talking suddenly, as if caught and Finn pretends for her sake that he hadn’t noticed anything strange. Maybe the events of the last few weeks were finally getting to her. After all, less than a month ago she was on Jakku living a life she had been for the past however many years, and then now she’s suddenly had run in after run in with all these crazy things… chased and nearly killed by Rathtars, kidnapped and tortured by Kylo Ren, lightsaber battle in the woods with Kylo Ren, watching Han Solo (whom she was a big fan of even before she met him) being killed by Kylo Ren, going to Luke on his isolated planet, coming back to the resistance and saving them all from Crait in the Millennium Falcon, then Luke dying…

Crazy month, that’s for sure. Not that it was much less crazy for Finn himself. Hell, he was even in the med bay for several days because of his fight with Ren. And his defection from the First Order… it’s all taken some time to adjust to who he wants to be and where he wants to go with his life, but after the mission he and Rose went on he wants to be in the Resistance. This is his fight now too. He took down Phasma, after all. Maybe there is a fight to be won against the First Order. Maybe all hope doesn’t have to be lost. Maybe he doesn’t have to run.

“Finn!” Rey’s voice brings him back to the present. She glances casually (too casually) to the empty air over her shoulder a little way down the hall before she meets his eyes. She’s guarded. He can read it in the tense set to her shoulders and the smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She looks tired to Finn. He can relate to that. It seems like nobody can sleep yet with the threat of the First Order still not far from anyone’s mind.

“Rey, hey. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Rose and some of the others are planning on doing a little get together in the mess area tonight since everybody’s still so on edge. I didn’t think you’d heard anything about it yet. You should come, though.”

Rey’s eyebrows draw together in a frown and again she glances over her shoulder and shoots a glare at nothing before she finally looks back to Finn. She really is acting strange, Finn thinks. Maybe she should go to the med bay? Could this be a side effect of something Kylo Ren did to her? If that bastard did anything to Rey…

“Um, yeah… yeah, maybe I will. That might be just what I need actually.” She sounds like she’s saying it for someone else’s benefit. Like it’s a threat, something to hang over their head, like if she goes she’ll be proving something to someone… but it’s just her and Finn in the hallway. The fight that’s sparking in her gaze like she might punch something doesn’t match the tone of the conversation and once again, Finn is worried for Rey.

Finn doesn’t let on that anything is bothering him. That he can see that something isn’t right with her. She’ll tell him if she feels like he should know. He owes her that much, he supposes, for all the times he lied to her and never explained himself. She doesn’t owe him an explanation after all. Maybe she just needs some time to sort out whatever’s going on.

“Right. So, mess hall at 8. I’ll see you then?”

“I’ll be there.” She’s smiling now, and it’s genuine now, but Finn can still sense the smug attitude that sits just below the surface of the smile. Maybe there’s something going on tonight that Finn doesn’t know about? Is Rey in on something?

Finn shakes it off and smiles back his own genuine smile. “Cool. See you around, then, Rey.” He pulls her into a quick hug which she returns briefly before he turns and walks back the other way.

He’s worried about Rey, but who could he talk to about it? It’s not like anyone else on the base really knew Rey any better than he did. Or even as well as he did, if he was being honest with himself. Just Leia, maybe, but she was always busy with something as the general it seems.

Han and Luke had both died and the only other people Finn knew Rey was close to were himself, Chewie (not great for conversation since he couldn’t understand the Wookie even if they could get along) and BB-8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a tumblr post: https://deathbychickenzz.tumblr.com/post/169054090368/poe-hey-finn-whats-up-with-rey-finn-what-do 
> 
> I don't know how far I'll take this fic, if people like it I'll probably write more, but idk. Starts out with Finn's perspective in the first few chapters (mostly cause of the tumblr post it's based off), but I'm planning on some Rey perspective later too, do not fear. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this (comments are my lifeblood) because I have a little bit more already written, but I dunno if I should keep posting or not. I haven't really posted a lot of my stuff in the past, so *shrug* if you guys like it I'll post it, otherwise, idk.


	2. Which Describes How You're Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn talks to Poe about stuff. Is this character development?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! So, I waaaaas going to wait until tomorrow to post the next part of this, but you guys blew me away with the response I've gotten on this little fic already! Tons of kudos, a few comments and even bookmarks??? You guys are amazing! Thank you!!   
> So, this one is a little bit shorter, but the one after this is longer, so idk.   
> Side note, all my chapter titles are song titles from They Might Be Giants. Not because they mean something, but because I'm bad at titles and TMBG is a good band with lots of random songs. Idk. It's quirky ;)  
> I'm not really proofreading this very much, so mistakes are all on me. Oop :")

Finn sighs. Pacing the base stewing in his thoughts is doing him no good. He starts looking for Poe instead. Maybe if he could just talk to someone about his worries he would feel better about it. It’s just that he doesn’t really know if Rey’s actions are normal for a Force user or maybe someone who grew up on a planet like she did… Poe might know more about where she’s coming from and offer some insight into all this.

If nothing else, Finn really doesn’t know Rey that well despite knowing her better than probably anyone in the Galaxy. Though, with the past week or so, that is starting to become Rose more and more. It’s just that he and Rose went on that whole mission to Canto Bight together and then got stuck on the _Supremacy_ together. And then when she stopped him from sacrificing himself on Crait… he had been so upset at her initially, but now that it’s been a little more time and he’s had to be the one dealing with Rose recovering, well, he’s starting to understand why she might not have wanted him to die. With her injured, he doesn’t want her to be gone either.

He’s reached Poe’s door now and it only takes a minute for Poe to answer after that.

“Finn! Hey, what’s up, Buddy? I was just heading out to check on something with the General.”

Finn frowns. He doesn’t want to take Poe away from his plans or something he needs to do, but this is important to him. “Do you have time to talk?  I’m worried about Rey.” That catches his attention.

“Yeah, I mean, the thing with Leia isn’t really that time sensitive anyway. We can talk.”

That's all it takes and suddenly, Finn ends up spending the better part of the afternoon just talking with Poe. It starts about Rey and Poe is a surprisingly good listener. Finn tells him about all the weird things about the conversation he just had with her, and Poe has this way with advice and explaining things away, and though Finn is still concerned for Rey, he definitely feels like she’s just going through a rough patch and she’ll get through it soon enough.

And then the conversation turns to all the crazy stuff Poe’s done. He shares about some of the more dangerous solo missions he’s been on where he’s been stuck and stranded away from the Resistance for weeks at a time. He’s been in jail cells on half the planets from here to the outer rim, it seems, but every time he’s managed to find his way back to the Resistance -- escape somehow.

“It’s not easy, having your world turned upside-down. Sometimes when I would come back to the base it was all I could do to pretend like I was fine, but I’ve been through some gritty shit, Finn. The galaxy is pretty kriffed up out there. Give Rey some time. She’ll be okay.” But there’s something in Poe’s gaze and Finn has to wonder if any one of them will really be okay after all the things they’ve gone through. Some things can’t be fixed. But even despite the slightly melancholy look in his gaze, Finn knows Poe means it. Even if they’re not actually fine, having something to fight for, having people by your side to fight for and alongside… that’s what okay is. Okay is about having a reason to keep trying to be more than just okay. And they have that here with the resistance.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks, Poe.”

“No problem, buddy.”

They just sit there in silence for the next few minutes, neither saying anything or moving from the wall where they sit shoulder to shoulder, only a foot between them. They’re both lost in thoughts, and Finn thinks how it’s nice to just be open and not alone for a little while. He's never had this before. In the First Order, stormtroopers weren't supposed to do this kind of thing. They did anyway, somewhat, but it was never quite like this. It never felt like belonging. Here with the Resistance, with Poe, Rose, Rey... things felt right here, maybe for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww yay Finn development! So yeah, like it says in the tags on this fic, I have no idea who to ship Finn with so idk if I will end up setting him up with anyone or not... because I shipped finnpoe after TFA, but after TLJ I dunno anymore and I like Rose well enough, so I'm just *cOnFLicTEddd* there may end up being obnoxious drama surrounding that later on because of my indecision soooo... oops.  
> Let me know what you thought about the chapter (I love comments pleaseeee)  
> If you liked it, even just leaving a kudos would make me super happy!   
> Thanks for reading~  
> (Don't worry, next chap has lots more Rey and Rey acting "funny"-- it's the party!)


	3. What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to the party! But why does it seem like she's disappointed? Maybe she's not the party type...

“Come on Finn, I want to meet someone!” Rose had been dragging Finn around the little party all night, and though he didn’t mind getting to know everyone, he feels a little bad when he sees Rey wander in and isn’t able to get away to talk to her.

Finn walks the party with Rose for a little while longer, trying to find a moment to get away to talk to Rey. He keeps an eye on her anyway, and she smiles and waves at him from across the room. He tried to motion her over to him, but soon enough someone has noticed her and dragged her into a conversation. talk to. She seems to get along well enough with most people despite her tendency to keep quiet about most things.

Finally, there’s a break in the conversation he’s having where Rose starts talking to the other people in the group about something he knows nothing about, and he excuses himself.  

Rey is standing in a group with Poe and Kaydel and a few others who’d met them at the resistance base from other planets in the outer rim. Their numbers are starting to increase again as they send out messages on hidden channels and have started recruiting people to their location. The Resistance is far from dead, and Finn is really starting to believe that.

“Rey, hey! How are you?” He pulls her aside a little from the rest of the group, so they can talk.

“Yeah, I’m doing good Finn. Thanks for telling me about all this.” She gestures around to the party and she seems genuine, but also a little bit disappointed. Finn frowns. What’s bothering her now? Is it all the people? Maybe she’s hungry.

(Rey never really says she’s hungry, but he always notices she sneaks snacks from all sorts of events into her pockets or bags like she may never get another provided meal. It seems they all have scars from their past lives…)

“You don’t like the party, do you.” He says it flat because, well, it’s not really a question, he can tell. Maybe he hasn’t known her very long, but Finn feels like he can read Rey pretty well.

“No! That’s… trust me, that’s not it. It’s a great party. Really.” Finn gives her a look like he’s not convinced.

“Really,” Rey says again, quieter this time. She looks away, looks around. Like she’s searching for someone, but whoever she’s looking for isn’t there and she just sighs and looks back at him with a tight smile. “So, is the food as good as I’ve heard it is?”

That seems to put everything back to normal and Finn smiles big and drags Rey across the room and starts telling her about all the food they had. And sure, the Resistance is technically on rations and this food isn’t even the good stuff Poe has told him they used to have a few years ago, but hell, even hasn’t heard of half this stuff, and this is one of those things that Rey and Finn relate to each other about. Neither of them were free children. Most of the stuff Finn ate growing up was First Order slop. Came in a variety of colors and vague flavors, but always the same gross mush.

Rey laughs when he tells her that and tells him about how she was paid in food, and everything she did was just to eat. She says everything so lightly, and Finn wonders how she can talk about something like that so lightly. She mentions how she almost starved to death when she was eleven because she got injured and couldn’t scavenge for a few weeks and ran out of food for a few days.

Then almost like someone flipped a switch, Rey’s whole mood changes. She goes from bubbly and speaking of their shared childhood trauma to tightlipped. And suddenly she’s acting like earlier in the hallway and she’s trying to be subtle as she keeps glancing past Finn to something in the distance.

Finn glances over his shoulder, trying to follow Rey’s gaze, but he doesn’t know what she’s watching, who she’s looking at. He tries to continue the conversation they were having, but Rey doesn’t supply much more than a few noncommittal notes here and there now. She’s distracted by something.

Finally, just as Finn’s starting to feel uncomfortable enough to ask her about what the hell is going on and why she’s so moody all of the sudden (it couldn’t be that she’s a woman could it? When Finn mentioned Rey acting funny to Rose, she suggested it could be a girl thing), Rey makes an excuse and smiles that odd tight smile that never reaches her eyes and walks across the room to the drinks and stands idly between groups of people. She’s alone, but she looks like she could be a part of any of the people milling about over there. Finn is at a loss. He continues to watch Rey even when Rose finds her way back over to him and touches his hand to get his attention.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Rose follows his gaze and she nods her head in understanding. “She’s still not acting right then?”

Finn hesitates for a second. He doesn’t want to talk bad about Rey behind her back or anything, but, well, she is acting strangely. “Well, we were having a normal conversation for a while… but then, I don’t know what happened, but she just stopped talking altogether and looking around all agitated.”

“Maybe you said something?” Finn just shakes his head.

“I don’t think so. She kept looking at someone in the room, glaring. I just don’t know who.” He couldn’t just be imagining all this, right?

“Who would she be glaring at? She’s so nice to everyone I’ve seen her around!” Rose had this smile on her face and Finn was reminded of how optimistic about things she was. Despite everything she went through, Rose always sees the best side of things and believes in the people around her.

“Maybe she just needs a minute.”

So, Finn goes back to following Rose around the party and watching Rey from a distance. She catches his eye a couple times, but she still seems on edge, almost like someone is standing over her shoulder or something.

Finally, she seems to be talking to someone, and it seems like the conversation is going sour, but Finn can’t tell who she’s talking to. Nobody is looking at her or seems to be engaged in her conversation. She’s not yelling or making a scene, but he can see she is getting flustered and it baffles him.

What’s going on with Rey?

She suddenly glares at someone (something?) and turns on her heel walking out of the party. Finn frowns and makes toward the door after her, telling Rose some excuse about using the ‘fresher.

The hallway is empty by the time he gets there, but Poe turns the corner from the direction of the ‘fresher and motions to behind him. “Was that Rey I just saw? She just stormed past… did you say something to her?”

Finn just frowns and walks in that direction.

“Seriously, what did you say to her? She’s pissed!” Poe calls after him, but he doesn’t follow so Finn just keeps walking.

Finn finds Rey outside the main building. He doesn’t see her right away, but she’s yelling, and he follows her voice. Maybe something really is wrong. Why else would she be yelling?

“You think it’s me? I need to change?” There’s a pause and then Rey is talking again. “Why should I? I’m happy here! Things are good. I’m making a difference… No, that’s not the same thing. Don’t make yourself into some hero. You’re no better than –” Rey catches sight of Finn then and she stops mid-sentence, her mouth still open. She glances at the empty space in front of her and closes her mouth with a snap of her jaw, clenching her teeth. Finn can tell it’s taking an inordinate amount of effort to stay focused on him by the way her eyes keep flickering glares to the space she was yelling at.

“Rey?” Finn is less sure of himself now. Was this a Force thing after all? Why would she be arguing with someone in the Force? Was it Luke? Was she angry he died and couldn’t teach her or something? That hardly seemed fair to Finn. It’s not like Luke exactly had a choice about dying…

But her conversation didn’t make sense if she was talking to Luke, did it? Unless there was somewhere else she needed to go in order to learn about the Force? It’s not like there were hundreds of Jedi in the galaxy anywhere though, so that couldn’t be it.

“Finn!” She still seems frazzled, unsure what to say.

“You left the party so suddenly… are… are you okay?” Finn almost doesn’t want to ask the next question. He feels like he’s going crazy watching her though. “Are you… is it Luke? You said he wasn’t, you know, gone the same way other people are when they die…”

There’s an awful moment where nothing happens, and Finn is worried Rey will do something radical for mentioning Luke. He isn’t sure how close they were when Rey was on the island with him. Maybe he was like Han for Rey, Finn isn’t really sure. She hasn’t told him much about what happened on the island at all, actually.

Something seems to click suddenly and Rey smiles a little bit and just nods her head a little. “It’s something like that, yeah…”

“Oh, good. I thought you might say that’s ‘not how the Force works’” Finn’s laughing now. He can’t help it. Rey’s behavior has been stressing him out, he can’t help that he cares about her well-being. If this is all because of some Force thing then it probably really isn’t a big problem that needed to be checked out like he thought it was.

Rey is laughing now too, though from what little he’s noticing through his own hysterics, hers is more a nervous and relieved reaction to his own laughter. He stops after a minute and Rey looks at him for a minute, calculating before saying more. “Um, just don’t mention it to anyone right now, okay Finn? For me?” Finn takes on a more serious expression once more and nods his head.

“Yeah, no worries. I can keep this quiet.”

“Thanks, Finn. This whole… Force thing… it’s just a little much to figure out on my own now that Luke is gone, you know?” There’s something off in her voice when she says it, almost like she doesn’t believe it, but Finn writes it off as more uncertainty about the Force. And then before Finn can say much more, Rey is walking back inside claiming fatigue and then she’s gone.

And Finn looks around and swears louder than is strictly necessary because, well, he just promised Rey he’d keep this a secret and not talk to a bunch of people about her little moments she keeps having, but he’s already told Poe and Rose about it, and he’s not sure that they haven’t also told people. What would Rey do to him if suddenly the whole base was talking about her?

Great. Now Rey, who is just trying to learn how to be a Jedi and whatnot with no help left to keep her on track or explain things, has to deal with him. Finn, who has potentially spread rumors about her going crazy for glaring at air and talking to herself all over the place, and it’s most probably not crazy like he worried it might be.

What a great friend he’s turning out to be.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter this time! I have a few more really short ones written. They went a different direction than I was initially planning, so we'll see how it goes from here on out. I'm not really sure how much I'll end up writing for this fic... any feedback would be appreciated (I'm looking for ideas again...)
> 
> Also, I'm in the middle of writing a different fic I started this morning (a oneshot as far as I've planned it, but it's over 3k right now and I'm not done with it yet. So I'll probably be finishing that and uploading it in the next day or two if you want to watch for it (also Reylo, more angsty than this one tho, fo sho)
> 
> Also, I realize I haven't mentioned this, but you can catch me on tumblr if you want @reyloismyotpandiamtrash if you want to talk to me there :)
> 
> See you around for the next chapter probably sometime tomorrow! Don't forget to leave a kudos if you liked it or a comment (I need ideas but also love to hear from you all!!! Every comment I've gotten so far has made me grin like an idiot ;)


	4. The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is worried he's a bad friend :( silly boy

Finn is sitting with Rose and Jessika and a couple other people for breakfast the next morning. He knew when he first sat down and two of the guys nearby asked him about his “chatty friend” from the party last night (and since Rose was sitting right there, it wouldn’t be her they were referring to) this was not going to end well. It seems all his worst fears have been realized. He’s a horrible friend. Finn wants to crawl into a hole.  

Was this his fault? Or was it Rey who hadn’t been careful enough managing her own stuff? Because he can take credit for not being a good friend and spreading rumors, but he can’t do anything to help Rey if she’s doing things in public.

Finn turns to Rose, a frown on his brow. “Did you say anything to anyone else about what I was telling you about Rey yesterday?” Finn asks as quietly and casually as he can.

“What? No! That was just you being a concerned friend, I’m not about to spread rumors about someone like that, if that’s what you’re thinking! There’s enough drama and political garbage happening in the galaxy without gossip making it even worse. Paige always used to yell at people around the base for spreading rumors anyway.” Finn wonders what it would have been like to grow up in a real family with siblings like Rose did. To have memories that reach back that far with people you care about that much.

Might make forgiving easier. Hopefully the rumors don’t start up about Rey, Finn thinks. It’s worrying that people might misunderstand what she’s going through and blame her for things because they don’t know how Jedi and the Force work.

When Rey walks into the cafeteria a few minutes later and she’s mumbling to herself, Finn curses under his breath. Finn can tell she isn’t conversing with anyone in the Force currently because she doesn’t have that weird agitated behavior she did all the other times he was worried about her, but she is still talking to herself, and if people are talking about Rey acting weird (which Finn thinks is likely from what those guys said earlier) then this is not going to help her cause.

“There she is, Rey of many words!” One of the guys calls out when Rey sits down across from Finn.

“Oh, kriff off, Hector,” Jessika intones at the jibe. “She just met you and a bunch of the new recruits. One quiet night is hardly enough time to dub Rey here a sarcastic nickname like that.” They seem to back off after that and mumble some apologies to Rey and go back to the conversation they were having before.

Oh.

Finn feels like an idiot.

Sure, Rey has been acting weird and Finn can tell, but most of these people are still entirely new to Rey. She may as well be one of the new recruits from the Outer Rim. Besides knowing Leia and Finn, Rey has barely spent any time with the Resistance before finding them on Crait. Finn’s not much better there, but he has at least a few days on Rey.

There aren’t rumors about Rey spreading through the base. That’s just Finn’s paranoia once again making a bigger deal of things than there needs to be. That’s a relief. Sort of.

“Thanks, Jess.”

“No problem Rey. No drama, right, Rose?”

“Yeah. We’ve got your back, Rey. Us girl’s have got to stick together.”

Rey smiles at them, but there’s something in Rose’s comment that steals the smile from her eyes and Finn notices she’s distracted all through breakfast after that until she finishes her food and makes some comment about things she has to get done. Once again in less than a standard day-cycle, Rey is gone in a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been meaning to work on this fic more. I wanted to make this chapter Hux's point of view, but I haven't quite gotten to writing that yet, so this is another chapter I had written from when I was first writing this. Hopefully this week or next weekend I'll have time to write more for you guys, but for now, enjoy this little chappie!


End file.
